by Cynthia Cummings-Walker
A Word to the Wise (lifeandbibleblog.com)
Deleterious Effects of a Race-based Social Construct
One time my husband was returning from a business trip where he had flown on the company’s private jet. On the way home once my husband entered our predominately White city, a police car pulled behind him. When my husband turned into the neighborhood we lived in, so did the police. When he turned into our cul de sac, the police turned in there also. Once the police saw our garage door begin to open, they circled around and left.
What a dichotomy. From private jet to suspect, all within an hour. This is not an indictment of police. It’s about a general perception of Black people who are living within a race-based social construct. They can be perceived as guilty until proven innocent.
Because a Black person can’t have their Resume, financial portfolio, and address clearly displayed at all times, they are generally seen as some type of menace. Problematic for some, deadly for others.
Black people face situations daily that White people never even have had to think about. That is one reason it must seem incredulous to them when they hear certain scenarios about discriminatory practices.
Within this racially stratified culture, some White people make excuses for the mistreatment of Black people, saying they deserved it. While other courageous White people have spoken out against racism and white supremacy.
One of the reasons I cherish my genuine White friends so much is because they know many of my experience first-hand. They understand the plight of Black people. I never have to hear them make excuses or defend racism.
From the wealthiest Black person to the poorest ones, they have shared experiences wherein no matter what level of education, wealth or fame achieved, Black people in society are inordinately portrayed and treated as though they are inherently genetically inferior, angry, and violent.
A Race-based social construct is very complex. Currently, there is no easy way to dismantle it, yet there are steps that can be taken to quell its effects in the meantime. It will have to be a journey just like so many other changes in society when people deem it so.
Personal Decisions Should Take Precedence over Other People’s Biases
I am not a victim of this Race-based social construct. I have many more advantages and opportunities than the enslaved Black people who initially came to America. They did not speak the language. They were deprived of their cultural norms. They were not permitted to learn to read or write. They were robbed of their dignity. They were treated inhumanly.
Nonetheless, freed Black people left plantations with only ragged clothes on their backs, yet with sheer brainpower, strength, courage, determination, and the help of abolitionists they survived, thrived, and excelled in every area that makes America one of the most advanced and prosperous nations in the world today. I walk in their footsteps, unfettered by obstacles and barriers.
My decisions determine how I live, not someone else’s biases. It really doesn’t matter what settings a person is born into. A person’s initial environment does not determine how their life will be lived; their decisions do. No environment guarantees failure or success. A person’s decisions determine that.
If a person is born into poverty, they don’t have to spend the rest of their lives there. They can rise above their circumstances. A basic education is free. Libraries are free. If the person excels in school, college scholarships are available which is almost free. There are mentors who can help guide a person who is tenacious and teachable. That person’s decisions will determine whether they win or lose.
On the other hand, a person born into wealth and privilege, does not have a guarantee of success. They can use their advantages wisely, or squander opportunities. They have a choice. Sadly, there are countless wealthy people who find themselves drug or alcohol addicted. Fortunately, there are all kinds of programs to help anyone with these struggles. Wealth couldn’t keep them from unnecessary pain and heartache. Better decisions could have.
I taught my children and grandchildren this concept: “Decisions Create Environment”. Their daily decisions will either give them options, or have privileges taken away. They have a choice. They must decide what they want the outcome of their actions to be now, and as adults. No matter what they are faced with, what they do about it is up to them. I pray that they always choose to overcome.
Moving Past Not being Racist to being for Anti-Racism
I know that all White people do not embrace the ideology of superior and inferior “Races”. They are not racist. However, in today’s society it is not enough for a person not to be racist. Another step is needed.
Some White people do not see their actions as racist because they do not say or do the obnoxious things that overtly racist people do. I understand. However, sometimes White people have an unconscious bias of which they are unaware. Many times, when a Black person mentions anything about racist words or actions, they are labeled as “pulling the race card”.
When another White person points out something that appears racist, it can be enlightening. Non-racist White people appreciate the insight when these things are brought to their attention by another White person. True racists reject the information and call, or label, the White person the opprobrious term a “N-word” lover.
Many times, when a Black person mentions anything about racist words or actions, they are labeled as “pulling the race card”. I so appreciate the fact that my White friends understand the plight of Black people in America. They know that they have White privilege. When necessary they use their privilege to make a difference in the lives of Black people, and others. Many times when a Black person mentions anything about racist words or actions, they are labeled as “pulling the race card”.
I believe that one of the most effective ways a White person can help to quell overt racism is to say something. Perhaps it can make a difference and possibly lessen the humiliation a Black person may feel. I know that these acts have lessened my pain, and possibly enlighten the person who inflicted it.
I have benefitted from the adage: “If you see or hear something, say something.”
- A White co-worker of mine who had recently moved to the area, attended a cocktail party where there were only White people present. She was astonished at how freely people were using the N-word, joking about, and disparaging Black people. When my friend couldn’t take it anymore, she raised her voice and said that her mother was Black and the conversations were very offensive. Although her mother was not Black, that was the only thing she could think of at the time to try to stop the overt racist conversation. It did.
- A couple of Black friends and I were seated in a hotel restaurant for about 10 minutes without being waited on. A White couple, who came in after us, who had been waiting to be seated finally were given a booth. Immediately the waiter went over to them to take their order. The man pointed out to the waiter that while waiting he noticed that we had been sitting there for a while without service and that the waiter should wait on us first.
- A White acquaintance of mine decided to be a waitress in an extremely popular restaurant in a predominantly White area where we lived. During the training for new employees, they were told, “Don’t worry about giving Black people good service because they don’t give good tips.” My neighbor was appalled, and asked, “If Black people get poor service, why should they leave a good tip?” She was told in so many words that Black people were not a priority there. She walked out right then, never to return.
- Recently my husband and I were in a restaurant that required a reservation. We came in on time and were seated. For about 10 minutes of watching everyone’s table being waited on except ours, and not even being able to make eye contact with a waiter, we got up to leave. Before we could get to the door, a White Manager asked us why we were leaving. We told her. She asked us to return to the table and we would be waited on immediately. She sent a waitress over that we had not seen that evening. We received excellent service from that point on and a hefty discount.
This was an anti-racism action to me. A teaching moment for waiters. We have been in restaurants with the same issue and no one questioned or cared if we walked out.
White People and Black People Need to Develop Friendships
Some White people proclaim that they are not racist because they have a Black friend. For a White person to have a good relationship with a Black co-worker or neighbor does not prove that a person is not racist. Usually, those relationships are cordial and superficial. W
I am not making a judgement here. This is basically the American way. When there are a couple of Black families in the neighborhood, or children in a school, that doesn’t really matter that they share the same space if they are devoid of personal relationships.
When a White person grows up in an all-White environment, lives in an all-White neighborhood, goes to all-White schools, White houses of worship in all faiths, attends all-White parties and celebrations from a child up, they have no opportunity to know Black people personally. They will primarily rely on what they’ve been told by sources they trust.
A couple of years ago I was in an international Book club wherein we read and discussed the book “White Fragility” by Robin DiAngelo. Robin is a White woman explaining from her own experiences why many White people perceive Black people the way they do. I learned so much from that book and diverse group discussions.
What has been invaluable to me is White friends. They individually have stood by me through thick and thin, and I, them. They have been true friends to me in every way. We love each other. My friends have gone into battles with me, encouraged me and fought for me. They were willing to open those doors that I had no access to as a Black person. The doors that were figuratively for “Whites only.”
A close friendship with people of diverse cultures and ethnicities is extremely important in closing the “racial” divide. I have benefited in ways that I would never have expected. Bottom line is that developing genuine personal relationships with Black people and others of diverse backgrounds can dispel myths on all sides. Why not at least try it?
Continued in Part 3
A Word to the Wise 