By Cynthia Cummings-Walker
As I pondered the diagnosis, and what I had just been told, the pain of my thoughts was like a heated blade stabbing through my very heart and soul. Suddenly I heard sounds of loud, heart wrenching wails filling the air. I looked around to see who it was. There was no one else there. It was me.
The all-encompassing pain I felt from this living nightmare was just too much to bear. Every bit of physical strength I had drained out of my body. I felt weak, and slowly slid to the floor. Words cannot express the depth of pain and anguish that ripped at my very soul as images of Rachel suffering for months, without relief, swirled around in my head.
Through bitter tears I wondered, how could God be a loving, merciful God and allow something so awful to happen? Perhaps it wasn’t God’s fault. What if it was me?
Was I Being Punished for Something?
I couldn’t help but wonder if this torture was some kind of punishment from God for something I had done. I started trying to remember everything I had ever done wrong to see if anything warranted this level of retribution from God. I was far from perfect but couldn’t pinpoint anything.
Fast forwarding through my life, perhaps I had forgotten about something. No, nothing there either. I couldn’t remember anything drastic enough to cause what seemed to be severe punishment. No matter how irrational my thought process was, that is how I felt then, before I knew better.
Every day, people all over the world die, get in accidents, receive a devastating diagnosis, get betrayed, abandoned by someone they love; or lose everything they have. Death. Abuses. Tragedy. Evil. All are a part of life.
No matter who you are, where you live, or what you have, misfortune will come knocking at your door at some point. One thing that may be easy to forget is that each person who dies is an individual, not just one of many. They have families and loved ones who suffer and grieve.
Perspective Matters
I had to admit that when catastrophes befall others, I don’t assume that God is punishing them. So why, when something horrendous happens to someone personally, they may think it is a punishment from God? Even if I had done something terrible, God still would not hurt someone else to punish the perpetrator, me.
Perspective determines how a person will feel and act on what’s happening in their life. Two people can look at the same situation and see it entirely differently. In this case we are considering responses to tragedy and loss.
Let’s say that there is a drinking glass on a table that has liquid in it to the middle of the glass. Some people see the glass as half full, while others see it as half empty. Some people go through life with a half empty glass as a victim. While the ones who see the glass half full will be more positive about life and are more likely to live as a victor.
I understand that during a crisis a person can be blindsided by the pain. They don’t want to think about what good can come out of their situation. They just want things back the way they used to be no matter how it was.
Self-Induced Misery is Not Punishment
There is no need for God to punish a person who makes perpetually foolish decisions. The consequences of their actions cause misery that is self-induced. When a person fails to take personal responsibility for bad decisions, it is easier to blame someone else, or claim that God is punishing them.
I’ve heard some people’s family members say that God is punishing them by taking their loved one away. Not true. For instance, if a person chooses to be drug or alcohol addicted, has reckless behaviors or takes their own life, that is a consequence of personal choice.
My heart goes out to those who suffer because of these heart wrenching situations. I know they don’t want to blame the dead. God isn’t to blame either. God gives us all free will to live life as we please.
We can make decisions that benefit us, or ones that are detrimental. Even when a loved one passes away from something out of their control, that is not God punishing anyone. People get sick and die. Everyone is going to die one day. No one gets out of here alive.
The more I thought about it, prayed, and studied the scriptures, I realized that God does not punish the innocent for the actions of the guilty.
We Reap What We Sow
If God wanted to punish me, He had plenty of ways He could do it directly. God is a God of justice. It would be unjust for Him to punish the innocent for the actions of the guilty. Galatians 6:7 (NLT) “Don’t be misled—you cannot mock the justice of God. You will always harvest what you plant.”
In other words, we all will reap what we have sown, personally. My heart goes out to those who have culpability in situations that have caused great pain and regret. We can’t turn back the hands of time and change what happened. What can be done is to confess, repent, and learn from it.
God’s Objective is to Save, Not Punish
God is loving, merciful and forgiving. Everything He does is right, and for our good. We can’t tell God how to be God any more than our toddler can tell us how to be a parent. None of us has done everything right. We all fall short. We must trust God because He is God. Our Sovereign, Omniscient, Omnipotent Lord.
When someone is grieving, the focus tends to be on what is lost, instead of acknowledging and appreciating what remains. It takes time, yet it will come if the person desires it. Know and believe Scripture: “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” Romans 8:28 (NLT)
Consider This
“For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.” John 3:16 (NASB)
A Word to the Wise 