What Does Mother’s Day Mean to You?

By Cynthia Cummings-Walker

The Upside of Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day is designed to be a day of celebration honoring motherhood and the influence mothers have on society.  It is a day which is celebrated (on different dates) in around 50 countries around the world.

In America, many preparations go into the celebration of Mother’s Day.  Family get togethers, gifts, flowers, cards, and all kinds of communications are a huge part of the Mother’s Day celebrations.  Mother’s Day is customarily a day when mothers can be treated like a queen and let other family members serve her.

For those who have a wonderful relationship with their mother, this is certainly a day to celebrate the love, guidance and sacrifices made by one’s mother.  When you are the mother, it can be such a rewarding experience that your child or children value you and show you appreciation on Mother’s Day.

The Downside of Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day is not a day for rejoicing and celebrating motherhood for everyone. There are those who see Mother’s Day from an entirely different perspective. Sadness, loss, stress, grief or regret can be the feelings experienced.  This depends on the relationship a person has, or had, with their mother, or child. For some, their mother is deceased, or their child has passed away.  Bereavement.

Many women who wanted to be a mother yet were unable to have a child can experience sadness on Mother’s Day because of what never was.

Perhaps a person is estranged from their mother, or child through irreconcilable differences, lifestyles, abuse, or challenging temperaments, whereby they suffer the pain of the loss of the relationship. Mother’s Day can be filled with regret about things that could have been handled differently.

Sometimes a child may forget to acknowledge their mother on Mother’s Day. It does not have to be due to willful neglect. The busyness of that child’s life on Mother’s Day, or other factors can be the culprit. Nothing personal.

7 Actions that can Improve the Mother’s Day Experience

1. Look at photographs or other memorabilia depicting happier times that can bring a laugh or comfort you.
2. If your mother or child has passed away, shed tears if you must, don’t feel guilty or think you have to be strong for others.
3. When you feel vulnerable, try to surround yourself with people who understand what you are going through and will provide compassionate support and positivity.
4. Be involved with activities or traditions that will distract from the specific celebration of Mother’s Day.
5. Don’t interpret everything depicted on social media as though everyone, except you, are thoroughly enjoying the day. Avoidance of social media may be prudent.
6. Try to focus on what you have versus concentrating on what is missing in your life.
7. Try not to take the failings of others personally on Mother’s Day.  People’s actions are not necessarily about you. It could be about what they are dealing with that has nothing to do with you.

There are no pat answers about what to do, or not do.  Try different things to see what works for you when you are faced with holidays that are triggers, instead of celebratory. Mother’s Day is difficult for me because both my mother and my beloved daughter have passed away.  I try not to focus on what I’ve lost. I make the best of what remains and try to live a life of gratitude and praise for the many blessings in my life that I can enjoy if I choose to.

Psalms 147:3 says that God heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Whatever the wound, for whatever the reason, the Lord loves us and is willing to help those who pray to Him for peace and guidance. Things take time so be patient. Trust Him. It will come.

Whatever Mother’s Day means to you will most likely determine how you will experience it.  If it has been a day of sadness. I pray that you will find ways to experience joy in the midst of sorrow. Nonetheless, to all of the mothers out there, and those who have been in the role of a mother, I wish you a very happy, blessed and enjoyable Mother’s Day!